Stone Piss

" They have something of which they are proud. What do they call that which makes them proud? Education they call it; it distinguishes them from goatherds. That is why they do not like to hear the word 'contempt' applied to them. Let me address their pride. Let me speak to them of what is most contemptible. . .
Where is beauty? Where I must will with all my will; Where I want to love and perish, that an image may not remain a mere image.
Loving and perishing -that has rhymed for eternities. The will to love, that is to be willing also to die. Thus I speak to you cowards!
But now your emasculated leers wish to be called 'contemplation' - and that which permits itself to be touched by cowardly glances you call 'beautiful' -how you soil noble names!
-But this shall be your curse, you who are immaculate, you pure perceivers, that you shall never give birth. . . . verily, you fill your mouth with noble words; and are we to believe that your heart is overflowing, you liars!
But my words are small, despised, crooked words: gladly I pick up what falls under your table.
-Frederich Nietzsche Thus Spoke Zarathustra

This week has been a bit better.
First, be aware that you can apply for a scholarship from the Liberace foundation for tuition [10 grand ] in any of the arts. -even the 'crafts' like creative writing. [though be warned -the experts are saying that schooling is hurting your writing!.] [what experts? That'd be Cousin and the Brain.] Not only will you be known as 'A Liberace Scholar' , you get a silver candelabra s part of the award! [as we can see, the Juliard plotline develops. . . ]

Next, if you really want to challenge what you think you think, get over to Hermetic and check out the bizarre world of Hakim Bey. I read a very serious discussion on sorcery as the last tenable refuge of capitalist culture - that can be taken many ways, but in my illusion mode this year, sorcery can be interpreted easily as 'intellectual properties' - and then the whole argument sings in a hair raising manner. This is not for the fashionably eccentric. It's a bit like reading a good amount of Charles Fort (at least one book) -starts out novel, then gets slightly terrifying as you realize you now think differently. . . . . [that's when I get distracted -who knows what would happen if you tried to read it all at once. . . ]

I've got that weird feeling going around town you get when you're about to break up with someone -maybe you haven't told them yet, but things look poignant in a 'I won't be seeing this any more' kind of way. . . ' I went over to the WestSide today -I'm a little sad that the Soul Food revival has sort of rolled back across woodward even. Found two local secrets -McNichols Electric, an amazing repair place that also sells refurbished Viking Hardware on the cheap. [JM, we found the blender for you! ] The rebellion against Kitchen-Aid living starts here! ! ! Parked outside was the definitive west side statement - a rusted out lincoln, trunk held down with bungee cords, and Rims that cost more than the car.
Stopped up in Royal Oak, and finally could put my finger on what has always grated on me there - there was a certain type of person in the 70's . . . the term yuppie hadn't been invented yet, and was tooo general . . . these were the assholes who bought the LeCar! ! ! ! They built a colony! [while it is true that all of our consumption patterns [yours too! Especially yours!] are ornamental in nature, this is strictly a mnemonic appeal -you remember them or you were too young.]

This incident sums it all up:
I went to the local grocer - There was a section of PowerBars, Cliff Bars, Etc - what white Zin is to wino's , these treats for junkies who won't take ensure, cos it'd be like admitting you have a problem. . . . So an over the hill clown in a track suit was watching this guy stock the shelves - 'Are you putting out chocolate nectar? ? ' he asked in a tone rude enough to get a beatdown on the EASTside . . . 'I figure you ARE, cos you're putting out these boxes. ' You see, he had to point out he was so observant - yet when it was indicated that none of the boxes he so cleverly noted contained his bounty, he went into a certain mode unknown in public east, known as 'the snit' -Now, this isn't terrible -it's about all they're capable of. But enough of these snits, and they get on those anti-depressants and then drive their cars around the rest of us. . . . [go and read the fine print on this new Wellbutrin drug - listed among the side effects are 'suicidal thoughts and actions'. What do you think it took for a pharmacutecal company to have to put that 'and actions' there? ? ?] Either that or they become what my mom calls, with great derision, a 'Charles Shaw Wino.'
And there you have it. All mysterious driving paterns explained.
The thing is, they are cynics about everything, except their ENTITLEMENT TO HAVE THEIR EXPECTATIONS MET. Let's examine this closely. This is the post watergate generation and their progeny. They should know alot better.
To be thusly cynical isn't the same as a skeptic. [which is really a high form of idealism, bracing itself for the disappointment perhaps, maybe even more comfortable with the disappointment in fact, but still a deep form of belief. ]
No, this is petty -this is personal, and every minor setback is at odds with a whole network of nueroses - The clown in the story actually was still standing when I left, expecting someone to 'fill the void' . This is why I hate the west side.

I went home and popped in a video tape from the San Diego chamber of commerce, explaining how much fun the city of San Diego and I could have together.
Something from our holiday discussion I keep meaning to get back to, is the notion that the age of Rock is over now, because we can explain it. What's really going on in the 'now' is beyond your ken. I think this is true of damn near everything -we kill by definition. A misplaced Ideal of mine as an artist is that I will 'arrive' at a place where I have a total command and understanding of the new thing I have developed, and then will go start a fire with it. There's no point waiting for that arrival. This is really the difference between 'ART' and 'SCIENCE', the need for that intuitive streak that let's us keep working without the need for precise definitions or the cadence 'all other things being equal. . . '
Heisenberg and Schroedinger have the math if you need this proved, but that's not actually the important part of this. [see how this is all tying together -when we don't get caught up trying to be right or wrong, we can notice the essential -] It's how to enjoy things as they are coming and going.
There is an entire philosophy/aesthetic movement in Japaneese art relating to that called Wabi-Sabi. It's misunderstood, but the real thing is well explained in "WabiSabi, For artists and designers, poets and Philosophers", By Leonard Koren. [in true nick tosches manner, believe nothing unless you hear it there first!] Duende is understood, and expanded here. Just for openers, there is a beauty of a thing coming into being, and a beauty of a thing going out of being. We can look at an artist from the past's career and see 'a line of development' that doesn't exist for us NOW, so it would be a symptom of narcissitic escapism to look for it yourself. One of the benefits of spending time in wabi-sabi land is to devolop a double sight. Belive me, the Kimono Club has already discussed our next phase around the teapot. So relax. your art will come and go as a natural evolution, and not as a result of a great effort on your part. save that for your works. You are already created.
This is getting long, but next time I will include my favorite wabi-sabi statement. And I promise more music stuff.
PS
I revised, greatly expanded, and corrected the goodbye motown post, so give it a check.
-EL Pirata