May 30, 1969, One A.M.

I'm drunk again
Under a full moon no less
(I can feel the pull)
And Tequila no less
I don't feel nuthin'
again

I'm looking for a mexacali rose
a dark fille
out on the sand
down in the cactus
( and none o' them gaddamm scorpions
to spoil my dream)
just a soft dark belly
and soft black belly hair
under the fucking moon

Yo! Bandido!
I'm a bad motherfucker man
I spit on your mothers grave
Now that that's over listen
I love you
you smelly sonovabithch. . .
compadres smiling
In the aztec night

Riding our ponies
over endless prairies
singing and talking
and joking
backslap
good time
one night
drunk
on Tequila

I'm not a movie
Because I know
' the knower '
That's me man
the part I am
but can't seem to be
the part that doesn't laugh
or cry
that doesn't feel
or so it seems
the part that just watches
quietly
That's me
I think

Even now while I'm done in
I know you and chase you around
in my head
an eyeball can't see itself
can I feel myself feeling myself

I'll find you

You are the real bandido

and there's a peso in my pocket

when I catch you you rotten motherfucker


- George Todt